As we all know, F.A.Q. stands for Fanatically Aggressive Querier. If you’re an F.A.Q. you might find this simulated conversation with a theoretical F.A.Q. helpful. And if not, too bad, I don’t deal with fanatically aggressive queriers.
Querier: What is this?
Jaded: This is 0verhyped.com. My own personal blog which I use to rant and ramble on about anything I feel like. So it’s basically just like the hundreds of millions of other blogs out there.
Querier: Who are you?
Jaded: I’m Jaded X. Gamer.
Querier: Is that your real name?
Jaded: Sure, why not?
Querier: What am I?
Jaded: You’re an incredibly flimsy framing device I’m using to answer possible questions people might have about 0verhyped.
Querier: But almost no one reads your blog, and nobody at all asks you any questions.
Querier: Why are there so many spelling and grammatical errors in your posts?
Jaded: Because I’m a lousy proofreader and very lazy. Also, it’s hard to care about the quality of something that almost no one reds.
Querier: Um, okay. So why are you a former gamer?
Jaded: Part of the reason is I’m just older and can’t find the time for video games anymore. A bigger part is the time I’m spent in trying to insert myself into the gaming community left a really lousy taste in my mouth. So I don’t want to be considered a gamer at all anymore.
Querier: Is that why you’re jaded too?
Jaded: You got it. That and I’m really old and grouchy, so I’m easy to piss off in general.
Querier: How old are you?
Querier: That’s not old.
Jaded: That’s not a question.
Querier: You really think twenty-seven is old?
Jaded: Have you ever heard the expression “You’re as young as you feel?”
Jaded: Well my back hurts, I’m tired all the time, I feel like my best years are behind me, I don’t understand kids these days, teenagers scare me, everything was better in my day, I need regular medication, and I get way too excited about earning interest on my checking account.
Jaded: Yeah, oh. I don’t feel young at all anymore.
Querier: So do you hate video games and gamers?
Jaded: All though there are games that annoy the hell out of me, I don’t hate video games as a medium at all really. As for gamers, it’s complicated. I certainly don’t begrudge people for enjoying video games as a hobby, but a lot of the more, let’s say, hardline gamers tend to be a major thorn in my side I wish I could be rid of.
Querier: How long have you been playing video games?
Jaded: Since I was four years old. So over twenty years.
Querier: Really? Most of your posts seem to be about things from the last six years.
Jaded: That’s because six years ago I decided gaming was my “thing” for some reason, and it was then I became exposed to a lot of the things that have soured my perspective on the gaming community and gaming in general.
Querier: Does that mean you won’t be talking about things from before six years ago?
Jaded: Most of the stuff I like to talk about will probably be from the last gaming generation. Before that I just played games and didn’t pay attention to the media or community surrounding it, but if I can think of anything to write about from before that I will.
Querier: Do you play video games at all anymore?
Jaded: Occasionally. Mostly I play Rock Band nowadays. Partially because it doubles as drum practice as well.
Querier: You play the drums?
Querier: Hey, how do you know if the stage is level?
Querier: If drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.
Querier: You’ve heard that one before, haven’t you?
Jaded: Yeah, you can switch drummer with banjo player and get the same lame joke.
Querier: Moving on, what do some of those categories on the side mean?
Jaded: Which ones?
Querier: Well I can guess Reviews is for video game reviews. What’s 0verhyped?
Jaded: 0verhyped is my tag for when I talk about things I feel get way too much attention, to the point where it’s incredibly annoying. It’s also kind of a catch all category for me to complain about things involving games or gamers. In general, most of the posts in this category are long rants about something involving gaming.
Querier: Okay, what about 0veranalyzed and 0ddities?
Jaded: 0veranalyzed is for things I spend too much time thinking about, to the point where I’m really examining something far too closely in a very long. 0ddities are for things tangibly related to video games but don’t really fit into other categories. They might just be simple stories and observations I make.
Querier: What about N0t Hyped and 0ff-Topic?
Jaded: N0t Hyped is the opposite of 0verhyped. It’s for talking about things that I didn’t think got enough attention. Usually they’re reviews of games I like that I felt got overlooked by most people. 0ff-Topic is for anything I write that’s not related to video games.
Querier: What’s Pointless Achievements?
Jaded: Pointless Achievements is a category for talking about really stupid and pointless goals I’ve found in video games. Usually they’re stories of crazy things I’ve done just for virtual prizes that weren’t worth it. Despite the names, it’s not just about XBOX achievements. Pretty much any sufficiently idiotic objective qualifies.
Querier: And is Announcements for gaming announcements?
Jaded: No, just for personal ones. Since this is a personal blog and not a news site of any kind, I don’t bother reporting things that happen. Announcements are just for things I’m doing with 0verhyped.
Querier: How can something be both 0ff-Topic and 0verhyped?
Jaded: A lot of things fall into more than one category. In this case I probably talked about something I found annoying in gaming and something related to it outside of video games in the same post.
Querier: Why is it when I click on some pictures I get redirected to other websites?
Jaded: Then main picture beneath a feature post’s title is always a link to somewhere else.
Jaded: Usually they’re jokes about whatever I’m talking about. Sometimes they’re something sentimental or informative. And sometimes they’re just links to things I like.
Querier: Why have you never told anyone about these?
Jaded: I was kinda hoping it would be a nice surprise. But looking at the clicks for outgoing links on 0verhyped, nobody thinks to click the pictures unless I tell them to. Also if you just let your mouse hover over a picture, a special text box will pop up, usually with a joke in it.
Jaded: Yeah. Go check it out.
Querier: *goes to main page to try it*
Jaded: Finally, never thought he’d leave.