Less than amusing ramblings from a jaded former gamer.
Available Soon*
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A.K.A. A LOT OF SHIT DEMOED AT E3 NEVER EVEN SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY
So E3 is in full swing this week, or half swing since it’s Tuesday, or something. Whatever, E3′s is happening at the time of writing this post. If you’re not familiar with E3, it’s the big electronic gaming expo that happens every Summer in Los Angeles. Companies roll out their next couple of years worth of crap in the form of demos and trailers and other shit.
Gamers sit around their computers waiting for each and every announcement as they watch drawn out tedious presentations. I’ve actually seen at least one person claim to take a day off from work so they could watch the E3 live coverage, and there was even a young couple who refused to leave an E3 showing even after one them started GOING INTO LABOR! But hey, they got to see a teaser for Skyrim shortly before it was placed on the internet where the whole would could see it, that’s worth risking you and your newborn’s health right?
Anyone with half a brain stem would just wait a day, or just an hour for every gaming site out there to put up detailed list of every significant announcement, likely complete with links to more in-depth articles not present at the time of the announcements. That’s what those people at E3 are there for, to report the news. It’s a press event, but gamers want to pretend it’s the Super Bowl.
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And like the Super Bowl, it often ends in crushing disappointment after enduring hours of mind numbing boredom.
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Game companies don’t really seem to go out of their way to discourage that behavior, probably because they like the attention. But I mind. I hate pompous pageantry and mindless spectacles being used to pad out mundane announcements and confuse the audience. Worst yet, this corporate dick measuring parade causes gaming companies to stuff their presentations with vague promises and undeveloped concepts that never materialize.
Trust me when I say you shouldn’t get too excited for E3. If the reality of the stuff they demo doesn’t disappoint you, then it probably doesn’t exist, literally.
If you can’t just buy out the competition, you can still rip them off.
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A.K.A. WHY I DON’T LIKE MICROSOFT
Come the end of this week, I’ll be taking an incredibly long hiatus from 0verhyped, but more on that later. For now I want to talk about Microsoft and how in a lot ways they basically did “win” this console generation, despite never selling the most consoles or really inventing anything all that new or different.
Microsoft has never had the best reputation. Even by giant conglomerate standards they tend to be less well liked than other companies who invade your privacy, sell you defective shit and rip you off for every little thing. But over the last few years they have seemed to harbor at least some good will with gamers with the XBOX 360. What with their “amazing” online service and the “high” standards they set for games or something.
But not me. Oh no, definitely not me. Mostly because I’m a grouchy prick who feels compelled to piss on everyone else’s good times. I tend to do that, as old men filled with bitter regret often do. But I have my reasons, which I’m more than happy to share, even when there’s no one around to share them with.
Pretty cheery looking fellow considering all the killer spikes jutting out around him.
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A.K.A ENJOYING THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE AS THEY’RE TURNED INSIDE OUT
In celebration of the new found laziness only updating three days a week provides me (and the fact that I’m really busy at work and don’t have nearly as much time to write) let’s talk about a short indie game today. Or if you find me boring just click the picture up there and demo VVVVVV for yourself, what the fuck do you need me for?
Anyways, for everyone who didn’t immediately click that link, remember the Commodore 64? I don’t. Probably because I never owned one, but I’m sure some people do, people like Terry Cavanagh, who styled his game VVVVVV after games from the Commodore 64 and the bizarre things he wrote down in his dream journal.
