0verhyped

You collected flags. You’re the keeper of worthless shit!
Leave it to Ubisoft to put the ASS in Assassin’s Creed.

Or Keeper of the Four Gospels, or Keeper of the Crescent, they’re all just fancy fucking names to dress up a single worthless collect-a-thon that is part of the misery that is Assassin’s Creed! God I hated this game. The story is absurd and bogged down with a horribly unnecessary Sci-Fi framing device only created to hand wave all the games awful glitches and inconsistencies. The gameplay is incredibly stilted. The actual Assassinations are padded out to ridiculous lengths with god awful filler missions that involve sitting on a bench or following some random jack-ass. Even most of the actual Assassinations feel incredibly scripted, where you might as well be playing a cutscene.

I felt so ripped off by Assassin’s Creed that I demanded my money back, which was a really odd thing for me to do because I actually borrowed it from a friend free of charge. I hated playing Assassin’s Creed so much I swore of the series right then and there. I hear people say the sequels are actually “better”, but I also heard the same people say the first one was “good”, so I don’t trust those people.

But the crowing moment of crap had to be the “Keeper of…” achievements, which was a fancy way of saying you had wasted large chunks of your life collecting tiny little flags that had been casually strewn across a giant game map. And what did you get for collecting all these fucking flags? Nothing. Just an achievement that marks what a loser you are, unless you’re playing the PS3 version, which was released before the trophy update, in which case you literally got nothing.

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